What I’m learning from online dating the second time around
Online dating is really not a new thing, in this day and age and as you know, I have tried this route of making my selection before and went through a whole lot of mess. But now and again, I meet people who tried online dating and met their partners through that path – let’s see, celebrities go online, I can count 5 of my friends very easily on my finger tips who met their partners through match.com or some other online dating website and to back up the real truth about meeting someone through an online platform, Pew Research Centre says that about 23% of online dating singles end up marrying their partners. So there must be some validity is using the internet in meeting new people. I don’t know what was happening on my first take but now during my second take, I know what I was doing wrong then.
People do nag, (or used to nag), why go online, the guys online are only there for one thing! Sex! Well, point out one guy who doesn’t have sex on his mind? Total bullocks! We all think about it but it’s the control and the art of sex that separates the sane from the insane (in a simple manner of fact). I guess my point with that is that online dating is no longer a biggie People are busy, I for one, I’m super busy running around trying to make life and career happen. When I do socialise, it’s normally catching up with my girls, at which point, I’m really not in the being chatted up mood, because you know how it is, you want to talk about stuff and moan a little bit with them (it’s surely not the time that the romantic antennas are switched on!). But I still need to meet someone so this is what I’m doing this time around. I’ve adopted a 3 rule plan:
1) It’s a numbers game!
The more people you meet quickly, the better it is as shared by one of my dear guy friend who met his current wife through an online dating site. So be quick in connecting (through hellos) and spend less time writing long winded emails
2) I’m not wasting time creating ‘online relationships’
Spending weeks and weeks emailing someone it’s just a pure waste of time. It’s also plainly sickening! If I like what I read, then let’s meet up! Investing my emotional energy into painting a picture for a guy and him doing the same every day, will only lead to future disappointments! Mind you the first meet up it’s not really a date! It’s for us to check out whether we’ll connect – chemistry is everything! If there isn’t a spark when I meet in person the first time, there will never be one in the future – it’s too mundane. Let’s not waste anymore time.. Next!
3) No point in connecting with someone who doesn’t fill the basics!
How pointless is it, for me to live here in London and connect with someone who lives on the outback in Australia! Well don’t get me wrong, one of my girls did just that! She connected with a guy in the outbacks of the US somewhere and it worked for them. But not me! Time is precious! And here’s another point on age differences; there’s no point in me chatting up with a guy in the 50’s or 60’s! I’m no Catherine Zeta Jones and there are certainly not enough Michael Douglas’s floating around!
Right, so 1 week online and here’s how the 3 rules are playing out in real life! One guy wanted to spend more time on line to know each other! I labelled him a time waster and a confused so and so! Three guys sent brief to the point (but also lovely introductory emails). I liked their profiles and they fit really well with the type of guy I want to meet. So over the next week and a half, I’ve arranged to meet all of them, well, not at the same time!
I will surely keep you posted!
ps: I also picked up a very good small book – How to be a Good Lover! from Oliver Bonas over the weekend- just for laughs, but it’s a a real good kicker and only 3 quid I think. Try reading that on the train in the morning! ha!
Please note that I am in no way promoting match.com, oliver bonas or any other brand mentioned on here. They’re just fun!
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