Real Talk on Dating

Our Society and the Single Woman

I honestly did not  realise how the general society see single and successful women. Honestly I didn’t, no not at all. I have a sense of how things are in the corporate world for sure, but on the social scene, I never got this, well, up until now..  I was having a general and polite conversation with my new builder (and no it’s not what you’re thinking right now) just recently. We were discussing family,  he told me about his and then it got to my turn where he asked if I had any children with my partner. Of course, the answer to that sort of question for me at this point in my life is a resounding no – no I  don’t have a partner / boyfriend or husband and no I don’t have any children either! I’m not sure if those seemingly carefree words were too much for him or what,  because the countenance of the  poor guy changed by the millisecond as those words shot out of my mouth.  It was as if he felt ashamed for me and if I could read his poor mind very well, I almost could hear him say,  poor you, what’s wrong with you? That’s when it hit me!  In our world and our society, somehow, one way or the other, the never married, singletons in their late 30’s are viewed just a little bit differently.

Contrary to what seems like a popular opinion, has it occurred to society that some of us, chose to focus on other parts of our lives first before focusing on men per say? I mean, you could take me as a case study – in  my teens, I saw all that one could ever see in a guy! I did the raving (big time), dated non stop (but never promiscuously, always safely) and had just about no care in the world! But I had a dream – which is to create and find me first, then have my guy to do life with. I never wanted to find myself with a guy purely because I was afraid that I would never ever get to find out who I really am meant to be in this world if I got swept up into someone else’s dream. And so when I was galavanting my way through the good stock of guys in my teens and early 20’s, finding that one guy wasn’t part of the plan then, no not at all. I was more about creating my dream (and I don’t regret doing that at all)  And so here we are, I am coming into myself now and I  feel that I’m ready (almost) to pursue the other part of life – which is to find a great guy to continue life with.

And whiles I am pursuing that avenue to get the balance that one so ever needs, I also would like to ask society one burning question, – i really can’t keep this one in! Why is it that single men my age and above, who have been focused on building their empires and not so much on finding wives and girlfriends are not met with the same scepticism as women are? Who created this world that makes it OK for guys to do single in a non condemning way but made it difficult for women to build empires and feel guilty about putting dreams before family and creating a home!

Surely I should be allowed to do me without any judgement? I would like to think that it rains equally on all when it pours!